Blackbird Fly (The Other Side of the Breakdown)

Remember the picture of my messy hands? When I hadn’t painted in oh-so-long and then BAM I was doing it?

Yeah yeah, that one.

Didja wonder what ever became of that painting?

You did? You say it was keeping you up at night?

Oops, sorry ’bout that.

Well, let me tell you. It was quite the feat.

There was beautiful stuff then messy stuff then attempted freedom then real pure freedom then covering up some of the beautiful stuff with the freedom then my world falling apart then a little bitta crying…

(What? You thought there was no crying in painting? Oh how wrong you were, my friend! Silly thing, you.)

Hmmm, so what have I left out?

Beauty, freedom, more freedom, messiness, crying, mmm that just about covers it.

‘Cept one super important thing:

What’s on the other side of the falling apart part.

Which wound up being exponentially more beauty.

And joy.

And wonder.

Pretty important stuff.

Now you know how I always learn something when I embark on an adventure such as this, right? Art (and life) always serves that purpose for me.

And my lessons here were:

• You can’t mess it up.

• Keep going.

• There’s something on the other side of the breakdown.

So maybe you covered up the pretty stuff, so you made a “mistake” (I will *always* put those in quotation marks, don’t even try ‘n stop me), so you feel bad, you’re worried, you’re scared, you’re (fill in the blanks.)

Or maybe you’re feeling really sick.

Even that. There’s something on the other side.

Lately when I have a physical episode (which is multiple times per day and pretty much feels like you’re dying), I’m noticing what works best is if you don’t fight against it.

Instead go ahead and acknowledge it, tell someone if you need to, then let go, allow your body to soften, and wait for it to pass.

Remember this has happened before, it will happen again, and it always does pass. Always.

In a little while (Or a day. Or two days. Whatever it takes) you’ll feel relief.

And joy.

And gratitude.

Just like the painting that goes through the omg-I-just-ruined-it stage before turning into your favorite thing in the whole wide world.

There’s something on the other side.

Just keep going and know that the messy part will pass and then beauty ensues.

So amidst the chaos, this painting beams up at me. I focus on it and am the happiest ever.

See, everything is temporary. That’s the nature of life here on earth.

Isn’t it cool how that works?

………

PS I feel like I should call this one Blackbird Fly. What do you think? (Do you see him?)

………

“Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life,
You were only waiting for this moment to be free

Blackbird fly, blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise”

—John Lennon / Paul McCartney

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